Relationships: Things to Keep in Mind

Late last year, I was involved in a business relationship. When I was getting into business with the individual, God told me not to get involved in the relationship. Despite the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I decided to enter into the business agreement with the person. Time and money was spent but in the end, neither one of us was satisfied with the outcome of our business relationship. Toward the end of the relationship, we both tried to express our concerns but those concerns were not received well because we both felt angry due to the agitation that was built up from not having a healthy conversation about our issues when they first occurred. Needless to say, the relationship did not end on the best of terms. I have repented for my actions to God and forgiven the person for theirs and wish them nothing but the best in their future endeavors.

All of the agitation could have been avoided if I would have listened to God in the first place. Through that experience, God revealed to me 4 key things to keep in mind when deciding to be in a relationship with someone (business, friendship, courtship, etc.):

1. When God says NO, LISTEN!
•  God is perfect and He knows what is best for you. When God tells you "NO," it's for one of two reasons (sometimes both): 1) He is trying to prevent something unpleasant from happening and/or 2) He has something better in mind for you. This goes for EVERYTHING in life, including getting involved in a relationship with someone.
• 1 Samuel 15:22 (NLT) - But Samuel replied, "What is more pleasing to the LORD: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to His voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.
2. Don't be scared to confront people (in a loving way). You enable them to continue with bad behavior when you don't confront them.
• This point is about motive. If you see an area of growth in a person that you think should be addressed AND you genuinely want to see a person grow and excel in life, tell the person in a loving way. We all have flaws and sometimes we don't see our own flaws. You can let another person know what they can work on, if your heart is in the right place. Ask the Spirit to lead you in this.
• Ephesians 4:14-15 (NLT) - Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won't be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the Church.
• Proverbs 27:17 (NIV) - As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
3. Don't confront someone when you are upset. It is out of selfishness and the person won't listen to you even if you are right. 
• It is best to speak to a person as soon as the issue occurs. If you are upset when it occurs, pray about it to God and ask Him to give you the words to speak so that you will be able to speak out of love. However, don't let too much time lapse before you have a discussion with a person about an issue.
• Galatians 6:1 (NLT) - Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. 
• 2 Timothy 2:24-25 (NLT) - A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach and be patient with difficult people. Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people's hearts, and they will learn the truth.
4. If a situation causes an argument, give the situation to God, repent, forgive, and continue to live out your righteousness. 
• As humans we make mistakes. But that doesn't mean that those mistakes should condemn us. Hand over those problems to God and remember that you are the righteousness of God in Christ. Repent, forgive, and move on!
• 1 Peter 5:7 (NLT) - Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
• Acts 3:19 (NLV) - But you must be sorry for your sins and turn from them. Your must turn to God and have your sins taken away. Then many times your soul will receive new strength from the Lord.
• Colossians 3:13 (NLT) - Make allowances for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
• 1 John 1:9 (NLV) - If we tell Him our sins, He is faithful and we can depend of Him forgive us of our sins. He will make our lives clean from all sin.
• Ephesians 5:8 (NLV) - At one time, you lived in darkness. Now you are living in the light that comes from the Lord. Live as children who have the light of the Lord in them.

I hope that you all learn from my mistakes and remember to seek God before you enter into any relationship.

Be blessed,
Nisheena Q.

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PS - God is really doing some amazing things in my life. He has blessed me (and other sister in Christ) with our own radio show on Soundbooth Radio that will be airing every Wednesday, starting February 13th, at 7 am and 8 pm. You can STAY CONNECTED us on Facebook by clicking this.