Relationships: Things to Keep in Mind

Late last year, I was involved in a business relationship. When I was getting into business with the individual, God told me not to get involved in the relationship. Despite the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I decided to enter into the business agreement with the person. Time and money was spent but in the end, neither one of us was satisfied with the outcome of our business relationship. Toward the end of the relationship, we both tried to express our concerns but those concerns were not received well because we both felt angry due to the agitation that was built up from not having a healthy conversation about our issues when they first occurred. Needless to say, the relationship did not end on the best of terms. I have repented for my actions to God and forgiven the person for theirs and wish them nothing but the best in their future endeavors.

All of the agitation could have been avoided if I would have listened to God in the first place. Through that experience, God revealed to me 4 key things to keep in mind when deciding to be in a relationship with someone (business, friendship, courtship, etc.):

1. When God says NO, LISTEN!
•  God is perfect and He knows what is best for you. When God tells you "NO," it's for one of two reasons (sometimes both): 1) He is trying to prevent something unpleasant from happening and/or 2) He has something better in mind for you. This goes for EVERYTHING in life, including getting involved in a relationship with someone.
• 1 Samuel 15:22 (NLT) - But Samuel replied, "What is more pleasing to the LORD: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to His voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.
2. Don't be scared to confront people (in a loving way). You enable them to continue with bad behavior when you don't confront them.
• This point is about motive. If you see an area of growth in a person that you think should be addressed AND you genuinely want to see a person grow and excel in life, tell the person in a loving way. We all have flaws and sometimes we don't see our own flaws. You can let another person know what they can work on, if your heart is in the right place. Ask the Spirit to lead you in this.
• Ephesians 4:14-15 (NLT) - Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won't be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the Church.
• Proverbs 27:17 (NIV) - As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
3. Don't confront someone when you are upset. It is out of selfishness and the person won't listen to you even if you are right. 
• It is best to speak to a person as soon as the issue occurs. If you are upset when it occurs, pray about it to God and ask Him to give you the words to speak so that you will be able to speak out of love. However, don't let too much time lapse before you have a discussion with a person about an issue.
• Galatians 6:1 (NLT) - Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. 
• 2 Timothy 2:24-25 (NLT) - A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach and be patient with difficult people. Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people's hearts, and they will learn the truth.
4. If a situation causes an argument, give the situation to God, repent, forgive, and continue to live out your righteousness. 
• As humans we make mistakes. But that doesn't mean that those mistakes should condemn us. Hand over those problems to God and remember that you are the righteousness of God in Christ. Repent, forgive, and move on!
• 1 Peter 5:7 (NLT) - Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
• Acts 3:19 (NLV) - But you must be sorry for your sins and turn from them. Your must turn to God and have your sins taken away. Then many times your soul will receive new strength from the Lord.
• Colossians 3:13 (NLT) - Make allowances for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
• 1 John 1:9 (NLV) - If we tell Him our sins, He is faithful and we can depend of Him forgive us of our sins. He will make our lives clean from all sin.
• Ephesians 5:8 (NLV) - At one time, you lived in darkness. Now you are living in the light that comes from the Lord. Live as children who have the light of the Lord in them.

I hope that you all learn from my mistakes and remember to seek God before you enter into any relationship.

Be blessed,
Nisheena Q.

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PS - God is really doing some amazing things in my life. He has blessed me (and other sister in Christ) with our own radio show on Soundbooth Radio that will be airing every Wednesday, starting February 13th, at 7 am and 8 pm. You can STAY CONNECTED us on Facebook by clicking this.

Overcoming the "I'm not engaged" blues

As your Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram timeline floods with engagements, please do not be angry. You may be entering 2013 without a fiance but I want to let you know that there is a man that God has in mind for you to marry... if you just allow Him to write your love story. Do not be moved by your circumstances. Don't settle for a low life, dead beat, or random because you are tired of waiting for the "one". Singleness is a precious gift from God because it allows you to fully and wholeheartedly fellowship with God. Instead of coveting a ring, pursue God and build an intimate relationship with Him. In your time of singleness, get your mind off your problems and actively be a servant unto the Lord. And just like Ruth, in the mist of her being a servant, Boaz looked upon and favored her. 

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Below are resources that I pray help you overcome the "I'm not engaged" blues:

Blog: Covet Not The Ring by Kim Brooks

Blog: Where is my Ring??! by Heather Lindsey

    Video: "Dangerously in Love" by Jackie Hill

Scripture: Isaiah 54:4 (NLV) - “Fear not, for you will not be ashamed. Do not be troubled, for you will not be put to shame. You will forget how you were ashamed when you were young. You will not remember the sorrow of being without a husband any more.

Scripture: Psalm 16:8 (NLV) - I have placed the Lord always in front of me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be moved.

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I pray that you all realize how wonderful and special you are. God has a plan for your life (Jeremiah 29:11). Trust Him in everything, including calling forth the man who will court you and declare that you are his rib.

God Bless,

Nisheena Qunaa

Resting in the Faith of Christ

This is an excerpt from my journal. It was written on December 19, 2012 at 6:25 am:

Mark 9:23 (YLT) - And Jesus said to him, 'If thou art able to believe! all things are possible to the one that is believing;'

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT) - Each time He said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

These two scriptures will be the ammo to get me through this storm. Last week was rough. I felt frustrated and defeated. I began to complain and my soul suffered because of it. Life and death are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21) and I was speaking DEATH. My faith was diminishing with every complaint that I spoke and it became hard to even muster a prayer. I began to wonder how I was going to get through this storm when my faith was decreasing each day. God opened my spiritual eyes and showed me a devotional by Joseph Prince. In this devotional entitled "Great faith EFFORTLESSLY", Prince shows us that it isn't our faith that makes things manifest in the natural; it is the faith of Jesus that makes our desires, dreams, and promises manifest. Our faith is inconsistent because we may deal with doubt or feel that our faith isn't strong enough and we know that without faith, it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6). But because the faith of Jesus never wavers, doubts, or fails, we can rest assure that when we are weak, He is strong and interceding on our behalf. Faith is not a work, it is a rest. We can rest knowing that the ONE who believes, all things are possible for Him (Matthew 19:26) and since we are in Christ (Ephesians 2:10), all things according to His Will are possible for us! #GLORY

A Letter to My Daughter

11/4/12 @ 7:51:47 PM

To my BreBre,

Your Heavenly Father and earthly father love & treasure you, and they will always protect you. Allow their love for you to be a reflection of how a man is supposed to court you. You are a wonderful treasure from above and deserve to be treated far above rubies! 

Love,

Your mom

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21 days Without Social Media

On May 30, 2012, I decided to take a 1 week fast from facebook and twitter to build my relationship with God. I realized that I wasted precious time on these social media sites. Don't get me wrong, I think that facebook and twitter are wonderful tools to minister, connect with people, etc. but I felt as though I needed to limit the amount of time I spend on these sites because they were literally taking over my life and limiting me from spending more time with God and building my relationship with Him. My 1 week break from social media turn into 21 days fast from social media. I increased my fasting time because I wanted build my longing for His Word and create a habit of not checking facebook and twitter every moment of every day.

At this current state in my life, I am in my Ruth season. During this season, I am focusing my attention on spending more time with God and doing the things that he has called me to do without any distractions. During the first 5 days of the social media fast, I didn't spend any more time with God than I usually do. Instead of using the time I would use to update my status or tweet, I did NOTHING. I made excuses as to why I couldn't read my bible and commune with God. The Spirit revealed to me that I was making excuses because I was scared to spend more quiet time with God. I read my bible during the day which is good but communing with God and meditating on His Word day AND night meant two things: 1) I would GROW and STRENGTHEN my relationship with Christ and 2) I would be accountable for every word that I read. In 1 Timothy 2:7 I was reminded that I wasn't given a spirit of fear from God so I opened the Bible and began to read the Book of Ruth. Since I'm in my Ruth season, I decided to dissect the word in Ruth so I had a better understand of this mighty woman of God and what she did during her season of stewardship. What an AMAZING revelation I received! The Book of Ruth taught me how to be faithful and trust God. 

After I meditated on the Book of Ruth, I decided to look at other books & scriptures in the bible that helped me lean on, rely on, and trust God and His Word. I realized that I am NOTHING without God. He is the air that I breathe and the light unto my feet. I can't do anything without Him. He is my source for patience, love, peace, and everything else I need in order to live a life that is pleasing to Him.

I learned so much about myself during this fast and I thank God for impressing upon my heart to freely open myself to Him so He can purge me for my edification and His glory.

I learned some other important things during my social media fast:

1. I can have fun by myself - I went to the Brooklyn Museum for their monthly First Saturdays event. during the fast. I was nervous to go by myself but I realized that I really enjoy spending time by myself and I learned some new things about art. It's nice to have company but if I want to explore NYC or do something new and I have no one to go with me, I can go places and do things by myself. IT'S OK TO BE MYSELF!!!

Rolling dolo to the Brooklyn Museum

2. I will not change myself because of how others treat me - When I started to live my life for Christ, I let go of every negative spirit that made me an ANGRY BLACK WOMAN. By the grace of God, I was remade into this bubbly, loud, goofy, intelligent, inquisitive, transparent woman and I won't change myself for anyone. I LOVE the woman that I have become in Christ and although I have room to grow (which I do every day), I will not CHANGE myself for ANYONE. Either you love me, you hate me, or you can care less about me but since I know that God loves me and I love me, that's all that really matters!

3. No matter what, God LOVES me - I can be high on top of a mountain or laying low in a ditch, but in all of my states of being, I know that God loves me. He did not spare His son but He gave His son up so I can fellowship with Him and live an abundant life filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. So no matter what I am going through, my knowledge of how much God loves me gives me the strength to press on, go through the test, and overcome every obstacle.

4. God is FAITHFUL - Sometimes the situations that I am praying God to restore or manifest looks dead. It looks as if those things that I am praying God to restore or manifest will never come to pass. But then I remember the many times that God has answered my prayers and I saw the manifestation/restoration in my life and the lives of those I love. I know that my prayers avails much because God has made me righteous through Christ. During my quiet time with God, He revealed to me Number 23:19 which states (via the New Living Translation), "God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has He ever spoken and failed to act? Has He ever promised and not carried it through?" I am learning to tell my emotions to "SHUT UP" (thanks Mrs. Heather Lindsay for that small and powerful saying :-D) and dwell on God's Word and His goodness instead of my feelings.

1 Corinthians 1:9

As my 21 day fast comes to an end, I thank God for this opportunity to grow closer to Him. I know that I MUST make a conscious effort to continually grow in Christ to I can rise to the next level spiritually. I pray that this blog blesses you and that you start or continue to strengthen you relationship with Christ eliminating any distractions along the way. Commune with God and read His Word to continually remind yourself of God's unconditional love for you! Stay encouraged and blessed!

With agape love,

Nisheena Q.

Queen Vashti: "Bringing Down the House"

Happy New Year Saints! Doesn't it feel good to be alive another year to experience the goodness of God and all of His riches here on earth?! Declare that 2012 is your year for a closer relationship with God and living a victorious life in Him!

God has lead me to read the Book of Esther. Esther is one of the "low-key" books in the bible. It rarely gets attention and people usually glance over this book. I believe that God has called me to this Book because He wants me to fully understand how to be a Godly woman and to draw near Him through the reading of His word. I believe that as a woman of God, the Book of Esther is a vital book to read because it shows the courage that Queen Esther had that changed the lives of the Jewish, and thus Christian, people.

*I encourage you to read the Book of Esther to get a full understanding of this blog*

As I read chapter 1, I noticed some key components that lead to the fall of Queen Vashti:

• She PUBLICLY refused to go to her king when she was summoned, which showed humiliation toward King Xerxes and disrespect toward him and the other men of his kingdom. (Esther 1:12)
• She did NOT apologize to the king for her disrespect nor did she ask for mercy.

In a sense, Vashti BROUGHT DOWN HER HOUSE (and her king's territory)!

I know you may be thinking, "But Esther disobeyed the king too! Why was she shown favor?"

Well, Esther's "disrespect" was different from Vashti's:

• She FASTED and PRAYED for 3 days before she approached the king. (Esther 4:16)
• She had others FAST and PRAY with her (Esther 4:16)... "For where 2 or 3 are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them." (Matthew 18:20)
• She was humble in her approach. (Esther 5:4, Esther 5:7-8, Esther 7:3)
• She "disobeyed" the king PRIVATELY. (Esther 5:1-3)

When I think of the differences between Esther and Vashti, this scripture comes to mind: Proverbs 14:1 - Every wise women buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

"Building a house" — to bring order to the place where family life is centered (taken from the article, "Every Wise Woman Buildeth Her House" by Lynn Pyles Bruce).

Queen Vashti showed NO submission when dealing with her king. A wife is called to be submissive - yielding or submitting to the judgment of a recognized superior out of respect or reverence (Ephesians 5:22, Colossians 3:18, 1 Peter 3:1). WE ARE CALLED TO RESPECT AND HONOR OUR HUSBAND!

The thing that stuck out the most to me was the differences between the two Queens: Vashti's blantant defiance (a mean without a real cause) vs. Esther's humble "disobedience" (which lead to the conservation of the Jews). Vashti publicly defied Xerxes. She humiliated him in front of everyone in the citadel of Susa. One of the King Xerxes nobles stated, "Queen Vashti has done wrong, not only against the king but also against all the nobles and the peoples of all the provinces of King Xerxes. For the queen's conduct will become known to all the women and so they will despise their husbands and say, 'King Xerxes commanded Queen Vashti to be brought before him, but she would not come.' (Esther 1:16-17).

In Proverbs 12:4, it states "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones." The women of King Xerxes provinces respected her and her public defiance (if gone unpunished) would have caused chaos in the homes of all of the provinces which in turn would have cause chaos in his kingdom. Why would the wives in the provinces obey their husbands if the queen was allowed to disobey the king?! Xerxes had no other choice but to make an example out of Queen Vashti either by death or by exile. Strangely enough, he chose the latter and she was made to live outside of the king's territory.

Ladies, we are designed to be a man's helper (Genesis 2:18, 21-24), a crown to his head (Proverbs 12:4). If we don't respect our husbands, how can we expect anyone else (our children, our family, our friends, etc.) to respect him?! If we want the best for our husbands, we need to make sure that we submit to him fully thus equipping him to be a leader, a provider, and give him what he needs so he can love us unconditionally. We have to make sure that we do not humiliate our men but to bring good toward him (Proverbs 31:12). If we have an issue with our husbands, we need to fast [fasting doesn't always mean abstaining from food... it could mean abstaining from talking to other people about the matter] and pray, SEEK THE LORD, and do what He tells us to do so we can receive favor from our husbands just as Esther did (Esther 4:15-16). We need to be humble and show our men unconditional reverence just as Esther did (Esther 5:1-4). Don't believe the hype of the world, submission is a vital key to a happy and LASTING marriage.

Please look at this clip on the importance of submission and respect in the marriage.

*This is not just for black people, this is for ALL men and women*

I pray that this blessing you and keeps you on track to being the submissive helpmeet that God has called you to be. Stay blessed and encourage!

How to Avoid Fornication

Below are notes taken from Dr. Creflo Dollar's sermon on "How to Avoid Fornication". In this day and age, sexual lust and perversion are everywhere. It is vital to guard our hearts with the Word of God and meditate on His Word to overcome sin. In Philippians 4:8 it states "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true,whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things." We must renew our minds daily in order to meditate on good things.

Stay blessed and encourage... We can do ALL thing through Christ who strengthens you, including abstaining from fornication.

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1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 - It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God

• It is God’s Will for us to flee fornication

Colossians 3:5 - Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.

• Fornication is idolatry

1 Corinthians 6:13-20 - "Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"—but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh. “But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

2 Timothy 2:19 - Nevertheless, God's solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: "The Lord knows those who are his,"and, "Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness."

• Depart from iniquity so you can be blessed & victorious in the world.

• Sin departs us from God; you don’t want to block your blessing

*The obvious way to avoid fornication: To be married

• 1 Corinthians 7:1-2 - Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.

*Fornication is based in selfishness, NOT IN LOVE!

*Lust is also a selfish act.

Lust: intense appetite to fulfill selfish gratification

Fornication is a lustful act based on selfishness!!!

James 1:13-15 (AMP) - Let no one say when he is tempted, I am tempted from God; for God is incapable of being tempted by [what is] evil and He Himself tempts no one. But every person is tempted when he is drawn away, enticed and baited by his own evil desire (lust, passions). Then the evil desire, when it has conceived, gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is fully matured, brings forth death.

*Temptations: Pressure applied to your flesh through one’s own thoughts.

• Evil temptation NEVER comes from God.

Proverbs 4:20 – 27 - My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body. Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.

*God wants us to give our attention to His word.

• STAY AWAY FROM ANYTHING THAT FEEDS UNGODLY DESIRES.

10-step freedom plan from fornication:

1. Desire to be free; have a greater purpose for your freedom (Your purpose should be that want to be obedient to God and His Word.)

2. Eliminate all excuses.

3. Be willing to take immediate action towards your goal.

4. Expose yourself to wholesome words and images.

5. Take charge of your thought life.

a. 1 Corinthians 10:13 - No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

b. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 - For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

6. Do not allow your emotions to rule your life.

7. Make decisions that line up with your desire to be free.

8. Watch your actions; beware of wrong things you do.

9. Eliminate sexually perverted habits

a. Ephesians 4:17 – 19 - So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.

10. Create a character of purity

a. Psalm 119:9, 11, and 15 - How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways.